The Gossip Around Garden VI

[wr_gossip]

Greetings Balamb Garden,

It seems that our lovely school has made a severe splash! And what better way to dish out the goods with a prized column from yours truly! Let the games truly begin!



If you don't know about a recent marriage that occurred here, then you're sleeping under a rock! But what's this?! Is Instructor Snow Villers chatting with the bride to be? Or is she an evil twin sister out to ruin Grell's life?! Either way, both redheads have a keen eye for hunks! Side note: Snow is unattached!!

And finally Espio is wearing pants! But how long will that streaker keep them on?!

Moving on to the Holi events, there is a plethora of juicy details! Is Kate Bishop really hitting on Instructor Shadow?! With that slingshot of hers, she's certainly allowed to aim high! Shadow may as well take on the opportunity, since Claire Farron is having secret rendezvous with Cid Raines! What a sordid web!

An odd pairing of a pastel pony named Rainbow Dash (that's really her name!) and a vertically challenged cadet of Edward Elric seems to have cropped up. The only thing they have in common is their propensity for stubbornness! But anything can happen here, all thanks to Time Compression! We're all rooting for you both! Edward better keep his eye on the skies, and not on Instructor Pinkie Pie! Instructor Champloo will easily stir-fry that little rump to perfection!

And when will Gakupo make the moves on the head of the Garden Festival Committee?! Mikuru is ripe for the taking and eager for all the things he encompasses! He'd better hurry before Instructor Snow gets involved with yet another underaged girl!

Let's all take a few steps back and observe that hot and sticky night of that bonfire that lit a fire in the pits of our bellies! Our lovely resident Queen of Hair, Rapunzel, was roasting marshmallows with Cissie King-Jones! The sticky goo of their treat is just a symbolization of what was in store later on that evening! Would Eugene mind a threesome?!

Instructor Tom strummed up a few chords with Gakupo, and they seem to make a wonderful melody! Will the screech of Instructor Sharpay Evans throw them off key?! Someone get her a tuning fork!

In our next issue, we'll try to cover those very fond couples, and some new ones! Such as the game of hard to get between Rose Lalonde and Kanaya Maryam. Love's better when one has to earn it!


Until next time, Garden!

Miss Tattler

Comments

[thorny]

tentacleTherapist [TT] has gone offline.

[she knows that the BBS doesn't have this capability, but she feels that this has made her point clear.

SUCK IT, DOUCHE. SHE AIN'T LISTENING.]

1/?

[tortileghostwriter]

rose

2/?

[tortileghostwriter]

--tortileGhostwriter [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]--

3/?

[tortileghostwriter]

rose pick up the bbs

4/?

[tortileghostwriter]

rose i know youre there

5/?

[tortileghostwriter]

rose honestly now this is petulant even by your standards wouldnt you say

[tortileghostwriter]

rose

[tortileghostwriter]

rose

[tortileghostwriter]

rose guinevere lalonde answer me or so help me i will spill every single salacious detail of the blasted mess simply to spite you

[thorny]

Don't use that name in public

[thorny]

This is absolutely ridiculous, I refuse to respond to this

[thorny]

How do you even know my middle name in the first place

[thorny]

Well, dearest David Briar, I believe that if such slander would be broadcast I'd have no choice but to retaliate physically.

[tortileghostwriter]

ok clearing this off right from the start

first the word youre looking for is libel
secondly either word regardless of technical usage implies that the message is conveying fabricated information
which is also an inaccurate assertion

in any case i suppose it would not be too presumptuous of me to venture that you would opt to fling something more substantial than a bench this time then

[thorny]

[WHY DID YOU HAVE TO USE THAT NAME SHE CAN'T EVEN KEEP HER IMPROPER SPREADING OF MALICIOUS LIES STRAIGHT YOU DICK]

I'd think that something a little more weighty would have a greater impact considering the mess you're threatening to bring down for an incredibly petty reason.

[tortileghostwriter]

oh so im being the petty one here then

certainly thats a conclusion that can be drawn if one ignores a good ninety percent or so of the facts but fair is fair

might i suggest however that with all of your psychological expertise youve failed to notice a moment where you may in fact simply be projecting

[thorny]

You're searching for items that I'd be projecting which simply aren't there, I'm afraid. I'm sorry but your willful and continued persistence in ignoring the actual state of affairs is becoming rather grating, and if you've nothing else to do but attempt to foist it upon me yet again then I think this conversation is at its close.

pm;

[tortileghostwriter]

[and he's just going to take this to PM now because fuck you.]

security issues of a public forum and maryams meddling aside rose


We had really ought to talk about this.

pm;

[thorny]

[there is a fifteen to twenty minute gap between the message's being received and the response as Rose seriously weighs whether or not she really wants to deal with this shit right now

spoiler: she doesn't]

I have no idea what you could possibly mean.

pm;

[tortileghostwriter]

[yeah, guess who's equally not in the mood for the other person's shit right now. given the uh. apparent weight he's treating this with.]

For fuck's sake, Rose.

pm;

[thorny]

[she does not want to deal with this she does not want to deal with this. she's going to ignore it into oblivion if it's the last thing she does]

I have no interest in delving beyond the most superficial layer of this topic, and I see no reason why I should engage in something I wouldn't otherwise touch with a ten foot pole.

Re: pm;

[tortileghostwriter]

[AND HOW WELL HAS THAT SERVED THEM?]

Rose, quite frankly if we don't address this now we may very well languish in this evermore complex situation for another several months.

Though I scarcely imagine it has any significance to you, I do rather wish to avoid that.

pm;

[thorny]

[WONDERFULLY THANK YOU VERY MUCH]

Somehow I feel that addressing the alleged problem will do absolutely nothing to alleviate the entanglement which we seem to find ourselves in. Assuming otherwise would be putting far too much faith in you.

pm;

[tortileghostwriter]

[BULLSHIT]

Do you have any better ideas?

cause ignoring its earned us a rough sum of fuckall
if anything its yielded the opposite of its intended effect

not sure you noticed rose i know how you love your bad plans

pm;

[thorny]

[PROVE IT]

There's no need to cast aspersions onto my favored strategies simply because you disagree with the methodology. I'd have thought you'd be capable of grasping a simple concept like that.

As to the matter at hand, if you're going to harp upon it until I collapse from the weight of having to bear incessant nagging I suppose that I've no choice but to appease you. But don't expect anything productive to come from it.