witchesreign | The Gossip Around Garden VI

Greetings Balamb Garden,

It seems that our lovely school has made a severe splash! And what better way to dish out the goods with a prized column from yours truly! Let the games truly begin!

If you don't know about a recent marriage that occurred here, then you're sleeping under a rock! But what's this?! Is Instructor Snow Villers chatting with the bride to be? Or is she an evil twin sister out to ruin Grell's life?! Either way, both redheads have a keen eye for hunks! Side note: Snow is unattached!!

And finally Espio is wearing pants! But how long will that streaker keep them on?!

Moving on to the Holi events, there is a plethora of juicy details! Is Kate Bishop really hitting on Instructor Shadow?! With that slingshot of hers, she's certainly allowed to aim high! Shadow may as well take on the opportunity, since Claire Farron is having secret rendezvous with Cid Raines! What a sordid web!

An odd pairing of a pastel pony named Rainbow Dash (that's really her name!) and a vertically challenged cadet of Edward Elric seems to have cropped up. The only thing they have in common is their propensity for stubbornness! But anything can happen here, all thanks to Time Compression! We're all rooting for you both! Edward better keep his eye on the skies, and not on Instructor Pinkie Pie! Instructor Champloo will easily stir-fry that little rump to perfection!

And when will Gakupo make the moves on the head of the Garden Festival Committee?! Mikuru is ripe for the taking and eager for all the things he encompasses! He'd better hurry before Instructor Snow gets involved with yet another underaged girl!

Let's all take a few steps back and observe that hot and sticky night of that bonfire that lit a fire in the pits of our bellies! Our lovely resident Queen of Hair, Rapunzel, was roasting marshmallows with Cissie King-Jones! The sticky goo of their treat is just a symbolization of what was in store later on that evening! Would Eugene mind a threesome?!

Instructor Tom strummed up a few chords with Gakupo, and they seem to make a wonderful melody! Will the screech of Instructor Sharpay Evans throw them off key?! Someone get her a tuning fork!

In our next issue, we'll try to cover those very fond couples, and some new ones! Such as the game of hard to get between Rose Lalonde and Kanaya Maryam. Love's better when one has to earn it!

Until next time, Garden!

Miss Tattler

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[oh shut up you]

I don't believe that particular action added anything significant to the conversation.

[make me]

Given the nature of the topic initially under discussion...

[she's got a fucking hardcover, don't think she won't]

It only served to exacerbate our tendency to wander from the main point in favor of beating to death superfluous tangents.

[yeah and what do you think he's got in his sylladex]

In this instance, I should dare say that the issue of the game was the tangent, if somewhat linked initially.

Indeed, the previous act was something of a resumption of the starting subject.

[failure and broken dreams, mostly]

I seriously doubt that, but arguing the point further only hurls us into yet another pointless conversation so I suppose that I have no choice but to withhold my bubbling counterpoints and see through this odious talk to its natural conclusion.

[or possibly nothing at all depends on how that turns out i guess]

I'm glad you've chosen to see reason.

[glib as all hell]

We have been trying to snuff this out for--oh, how long now. The significantly better part of a year now, yes? My point is that it is becoming significantly more likely that our current excuse for a strategy is not, in fact, a workable solution.

In fact, it's becoming outright obvious.

Any failure is because certain parties refuse to put forth full effort into rectifying this mess.

[and she is making it very obvious who that douche is with a long flat look down her nose at him]

We have tried for nine months, both of us.

It isn't working. Directing blame only casts further doubt on the strategy.

[w/e w/e]

Then what do you suggest? [the reply is snappish, further cementing her stance against anything that isn't plugging her ears and hoping the issue dies a slow and agonizing death alone]

An actual attempt at figuring out the problem, for one.

Maryam's meddling, desired or not by either of us, may not have been entirely misguided.

Kanaya's hamfisted attempts at soothing the tension surrounding us like a fog were completely off base. I suppose you can consider that my one and only contribution to your impromptu emotional sleuthing party.

Time has done nothing to dispel that fog either, merely thickened it.

Then I wish you all the luck in the world at finding the correct fan to remove this rogue weather phenomena from our lives.

And dare I ask what has you so adamantly loathe to change this?

I'm not inclined to alter a perfectly effective course of action simply because another party is unable to keep to predetermined boundaries.

[i'm scared of what might happen if i do]

Once again: it's entirely ineffective. A replacement strategy is in order, one way or another...

[so am i but we can't keep doing it like this, one way or another moving in some direction is something]

I won't be going along with one if by some miracle you do manage to concoct something that isn't utter garbage.

[yes but either direction involves feelings. staying stagnant is a much more appealing option.]

It shouldn't be particularly difficult.

[it's less stagnancy and more periodically boiling over, that won't work]

Which is exactly why it's taken you so long to come up with something, yes?

[it will if you stop prodding at it, dammit]

Obviously.

[THAT ISN'T HOW BOILING WATER WORKS]

Then I ought to leave you to it. This obviously simple process will no doubt take all of your wherewithal.

[MAN FUCK OFF]

And it concerns us both, I think you'll find.

[NAH]

I do believe that my opinions on that particular matter have been made very well know. Repetition isn't something which I'm overly fond of.

[YEAH]

You wish to remain in the haze, stumbling around in the dark? Fine. Fine! By all means, Rose, have it your way. I insist, certainly.

[shoves his hands in his pockets.]

I have better things to do with my time than standing around in vain attempts to reach a conclusion on this.

Ah, you've finally made your way to the point. I was beginning to wonder if we were going to stand around all day waiting for you to cross the finish line.

[she dips her head in facetious gratitude, smile sharp and smug. finally, a win out of this mess.]

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tortileghostwriter - 2012-06-01 02:18 (UTC) - Expand

thorny - 2012-06-01 02:19 (UTC) - Expand

The Gossip Around Garden VI

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action; fuck you spellcheck hamfisted is so a word

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action; DOES. WHAT. IT. WANTS.

action; it's such a bitch. and not a free one, either.

action; you're just butthurt

action; no i'm in a righteous fury

action; w/e

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