date auction! forward dated to Wednesday lunch

[wrnpcs]

[The quad's all set up for the date auction! A handsome-looking blonde guy - one of the native cadets on the GFC - is center stage with the list and a mic, auctionees (and Headmaster Cid, sipping on a drink supervising) ready behind him. (Alas, Pinkie is out campaigning or something, and Mikuru is doing some last minute work elsewhere and doesn't like the stage anyway.)

[He flashes a smile.] Gooooood afternoon, ladies and gentlemen and everyone else! I'm Russell Drake from the Garden Festival Committee, and I'd like to welcome you all to the GFC's second charity date auction! Once again all proceeds will be going towards the Centra orphanage, so please be generous with your bids! Bids start at 1 gil and we do not take rain checks or IOUs!

We have a fantastic bunch of volunteers for your dating pleasure today, so without further ado, let's get started!

Each person has their own thread. Please put your bids in the subject lines so people can see them! Threads collapse after fifty comments, so using the subject lines will make the bids easier to see.

Bids close and winners will be posted on Friday before the carnival post goes up. IC-ly, the winners will be announced Wednesday afternoon.

If you missed signups, PM wrmods and we'll squeeze them in as an IC "saw the auction on the day, hopped onstage and harassed the GFC to auction them off" auction. Just characters who would willingly sign up at this point, please!

Comments

[rewritethis]

Okay, you might be an exception, but a lot of people actually have stuff to do with their time, you know. [Ha, see? Moral high ground! Even if the term is only figurative!]

[elementofloyalty]

Oh yeah, what were you gonna do with your free time if you hadn't been here? 'Cuz I bet you'd have been out in that crowd, watching the show!

[rewritethis]

Working, what else? [He makes a sweeping gesture with one arm.] Best opportunity for it since all these stupid campaigns started up.

[It's true! Well, he might still have shown up briefly to poke fun at the general, but that's like work. In the sense that being on the job never stopped him from doing it before.]

[elementofloyalty]

Pfff. Then I also saved you from working too hard all the time! I'm a double-hero!

[rewritethis]

Dammit, that's not called saving! That's called wasting people's time!

[elementofloyalty]

[She really does like seeing him all riled up. It's just bizarrely hilarious to her. Giggling again, she swoops around him in a playful circle.]

Naw, wasting your time would be, like, counting coins, or making you sit for a makeover.

[rewritethis]

[ASDFGH HE DOES NOT NEED A MAKEOVER THERE IS NOTHING THAT ISN'T MASCULINE ABOUT MAKING YOUR OWN CLOTHES AND BRAIDING YOUR OWN HAIR.]

And making me hang around for this [He points back in the direction of the stage.] isn't?! Yeah, that makes perfect sense!

[elementofloyalty]

[...there is no pony at all Ed can't be shipped with, is there]

[His yelling isn't even fazing her, she's still all smiles, which might be a sign that at least in this case she's certain he's all talk and stubbornness.]

Hey, you want your time really wasted, maybe I'll insist you have to go to the dance with me after all. How's THAT for a fun evening?

[rewritethis]

[...Pinkie?]

With you?! Screw that! I'd sooner get attacked by that plant freak girl again!

[elementofloyalty]

[Ed likes apple pie, Pinkie could make him an apple pie, right?]

[Now Rainbow is just laughing in midair, leaning back with her hooves on her waist.]

Yeah, dancing is SO my style! Ballroom, swing, waltzes, salsa! I love 'em all, right?!

[And this just sends her into even more peals of laughter.]

[rewritethis]

Like that fancy flying you're so proud of is any different! Except for how dancing is, you know, physically possible.

[Since she's busy guffawing up there instead of trying to drag him back to the stage, he's just going to start walking away again.]

[elementofloyalty]

[She flips over backwards, then spins a circle around him, leaving a rainbow wake behind her.]

If it couldn't be done, I couldn't do it!

[She stops in front of him, upside-down, grinning at him.]

Clearly it's possible! Maybe I should make you come flying with me!

[rewritethis]

[He tries to push past her, not reciprocating that grin in the slightest.] Hey, guess what? Making me sit in a balloon or something for no reason counts as time-wasting too.

[elementofloyalty]

[She's staying even with him! She's not associated with a horizontal surface, she can just move! But her grin takes a bit of a hit.]

Yeah, that would be lame, which is why you know better than to think I'd make you do it. I mean fly, not float.

[rewritethis]

What're you saying, then? You want me to hijack an airship? [Now he looks nonplussed. The answer's still going to be a resounding nope, of course, but...] 'Cause I don't know if this is news to you, but humans can't fly. We're even less aerodynamic than you should be.

[elementofloyalty]

But you could fly if you had wings.

[That would solve everything, wouldn't it!]

[rewritethis]

[Even he feels like he's driven the "gravity doesn't work that way" point into the ground by now.] Oh yeah, why didn't I think of that? Good thing I know how to sprout extra limbs on demand.

[elementofloyalty]

[So many jokes there, so many of them insensitive.]

Twilight knows a spell that'll do that.

[rewritethis]

[He stops walking for a moment, if only to give her the most withering look he can muster.] No thanks. [And then he quickens his pace. It might be futile, but he's making a point.]

[elementofloyalty]

Pffft. [It's totally futile. She catches up.] What, are you afraid?

[rewritethis]

[He's not rising to it yet.] Nobody's casting any damn spells on anyone, okay? It's bad enough having to take classes on that stuff.

[elementofloyalty]

...You know, I am winning the auction. Maybe I should say you have to come flying with me, because I won!

[rewritethis]

[...can he just quickly dye his hair or something and run back to bid on himself?]

What, did you see me sign a contract? Get real! I don't have to do anything!

[elementofloyalty]

[As hilarious as that would be....]

[Ed's argument does manages to penetrate at least a little bit. He was right, she HAD kind of forced him into this mess to begin with...]

[She drops about a foot in midair.]

Yeah, you're right. I'm not gonna make you. But... I actually really think you'd enjoy it. You know, once you stopped thinking 'this is stupid and shouldn't be possible'. If you could get past that, you'd like it.

[rewritethis]

[Wait, she actually listened to something he said? This is novel! Novel enough for him to temporarily stop shouting at her.] ...You realise that's one hell of a lot to get past, right?