1|| Bringing Unsexy Back

[ready-set-fire.livejournal.com]

[This is a very annoyed-looking young man wandering down the corridors, grumbling about 'make-up classes' and 'stupid temporal-screw-ups'. You might recognise him from a couple of months back, but to Ace, it feels like he was only gone for a day. Which is why it really sucks to get yanked back to find that so long has passed, he has to re-start lessons . Feel free to torment him. ♥]

Comments

[fierybluebird]

Maybe you haven't heard, but no one is allowed to insult Pops.

[Spits some blood and kicks Ace's knees more lightly this time for good measure.]

[ready-set-fire.livejournal.com]

I only asked! You could have said 'no, Commodore, it isn't because Whitebeard is a dick', and then I'd have said 'oh, okay', and there would have been peace on earth and goodwill to all men.

But no. You just had to go and ruin it.

[fierybluebird]

No commodore. It's because Sengoku's got the face of an ass.

[Hops off to the side and readies a kick to Ace's midsection, but refuses to make contact so just goes back to dodging and hopping about.]

[ready-set-fire.livejournal.com]

That makes no sense whatsoever.

[fierybluebird]

So doesn't your face.

Hopscotch. It's something I do to annoy marines.

[ready-set-fire.livejournal.com]

Is this where I respond, 'No, your mom doesn't'?

It's more amusing than annoying.

[fierybluebird]

Yes. And then I go "My mother was a saint! You leave her out of this!" Even though I don't have one, or care.

That's because you're you and therefore, far more awesome than the average marine, eh.

[ready-set-fire.livejournal.com]

That's amazing. Have you ever thought of teaching a class in this? I think it's valuable information that everyone needs to learn.

[fierybluebird]

I would be amazing at it. And clearly they would use it much more often than the Garden Code.

I have actually. It's just usually been under bad circumstances. You know, trying to execute my best friend, laying a trap to kill Pops, trying to murder me and my whole family, yelling and screaming about the giant hole left by explosives in the side of their wall -- shit like that. Kizaru and Aokiji are fun to tease. They're always all, "Oh you lying pirate! I hate you!" Akainu is no fun at all however and should retire and die. And I told you about meeting your grandfather. [Rubs his jaw in memory.]

[ready-set-fire.livejournal.com]

I have to agree on that point. How the hell can you spend an entire hour learning how to salute?

Yeah, that really doesn't count as meeting. Those are more like antisocial occasions than the opposite.

[fierybluebird]

Oh, but just think of all the ways you could do it wrong. [Imitates five different fail!salutes including smacking himself in an eye.]

Well I'm not going to start doing hopscotch in middle of a marine party, just how crazy do you think I am? [Deadpan face, but very bantering tone trying to get Ace to laugh.]

[ready-set-fire.livejournal.com]

[fierybluebird]

Given some of the brats running around I bet there has to be one teacher who tried it. That one with the whip had to at least be tempted once or twice, eh?

Damn, I knew that marine Christmas party fifteen years ago would stay on my record. Look, I had one too many Blue Moons and Onigumo bet me no one could do the hopscotch backwards. I had to do it, eh.

[ready-set-fire.livejournal.com]

If she tried to popularise it, I bet half of the student-body would do it despite knowing it was bullshit. What the hell is it about women with whips?

... Wait, you mean those photographs are real?!

[fierybluebird]

They're... sexy. It makes the world go 'round.

There's pictures too? See, this is why I don't trust most marines.

[ready-set-fire.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but the Trepies are just creepy.

Because we have cameras and a fondess for sharing pictures of drunken pirates? That's kind of stupid.

[fierybluebird]

True enough, eh. Although really, you should see Grell with a whip. It's almost every bit as terrifying.

Because they promised no photos. I look all off when I'm upside down eh. Everything just gets pulled in weird angles. Not a good look for anyone. [Smooshes his own face to demonstrate.]

[ready-set-fire.livejournal.com]

... I don't want to think about your girlfriend with a whip, thanks. It's disturbing.

Has anyone told you you're incredibly weird? And from a D, that really means something.

[fierybluebird]

[Blinks.] You heard about that already? Word travels fast.

You used to. You know... other you. And Thatch did, but Thatch is weirder than I am, eh.

[ready-set-fire.livejournal.com]

I met her. She's terrifying without a whip.

... Maybe it's a good thing I'm not home. I'd hate to live in a world where there are weirder people than you around.

[fierybluebird]

[Laughs.] Yeah, that sounds about right for my kitten.

Oh, there are tons. You'd like Oar Jr. though. And Jinbei. Although Jinbei's not weird.

[ready-set-fire.livejournal.com]

... You're really disturbing.

So why bring him up? He's completely off-topic.

[fierybluebird]

Eh, so you said. Just be glad I got to her before she could decide to try chasing you around.

Just people you'd be friends with that most people wouldn't because they're "weird."

[ready-set-fire.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you have my eternal gratitude. I'll hold off my plan to break your fingers.

Why's he weird?

[fierybluebird]

I appreciate it. If she ever gets too much you can pretty much just distract her with something red and shiny. Just don't let her whip out the chainsaw on you. And if she goes into one of those modes where she's giddy and giggling about blood and stuff, get her to the Training Center and back up. It'll pass.

So you are friends with him? [Squashes a tiny pang.] Mind if I ask how you met? Your division doesn't seem pirate friendly, even for shichibukai.