[BBS] ICK.

[espio]

[Espio is... bored. He was training in his much weaker human form during Galbadia's attack, trying to better familiarise himself with fighting with it, and took nasty injuries to his shoulder and leg that wouldn't have been anywhere near as bad if he'd been in his usual, durable chameleon form at the time. Add the limitations of para-magic and complications arising from the magical fun of shapeshifting, and lizard boy has pretty much been out of action for a couple of weeks.

A couple of weeks of lots of reading. Fiction and cookbooks and recapping on Indirect Para-Magic and all sorts. It led to a few discoveries, the best of which was black forest hot chocolate - basically the world's best cake in hot drink form. And... less delicious things Espio has no intention of eating any time soon. Or, you know, ever.

He's back on his feet, but still needs to take it easy, much to his continued frustration. Here, BBS, have a taste of Espio's reading materials.]

Okay, you lot seem to think eating bugs is disgusting and gross and whatever, despite the fact everyone's from different worlds and cultures. Can't believe how multi-universal the "bugs are icky" train of thought is. But you know, there's worse things out there than bugs - worlds are full of very different countries and cultures and stuff.

So, here's another one of those good old "tell us about your world" BBS posts. Natives included.

Subject: Disgusting foods.



1. Natto. Basically a bunch of rotted beans. They look rotten, they smell rotten, and they're covered in a sticky and stringy mess because they're just that rotten. I mean, fermentation always sounds nasty, but in this case the end product itself is foul.

2. Maggot cheese. I think it has an actual name. Yeah, I'm fine with eating bugs, but there's something about maggots that even I find gross. So try cheese infested with live maggots (deliberately put there, I'll add), which have been eating and digesting said cheese, basically decomposing it. Oh, and you eat it while the maggots are still alive, and chances are high they'll still be alive when they come out again. AND the maggots can jump about six inches or so. Delicious.

3. Balut. It's a fertilised egg. There is a half-developed baby bird inside that thing when it gets boiled. I don't think any more needs to be said on why that is disturbing.

Comments

[fierybluebird]

Mammals drink milk already Espio.

Fine, why does anyone still eat it then? How many of them are there?

[espio]

Fine, but why cows? And who discovered that stuff from the stomachs of their unweaned babies turned milk into cheese?

I don't know who eats it. It just came up in a book! Not even a cookbook - one of those "world's strangest whatevers" type of things they put out for the chronically bored.

[fierybluebird]

So maybe no one eats it?

[espio]

[Hesitates.]

...maybe. Could be a historical thing.

[He's sure the book said something about where, but he was too busy focusing on the sheer wtfery of boiled duck foetus to care.

Mental note: remove this book from the library before Marco finds it and attempts retribution. Resort to theft if necessary.]

[fierybluebird]

[Save the book Espio. Save it. But not this minute. Because Marco picks up Espio and puts him on his shoulders and starts walking straight to the kitchens. They're still wearing the blanket by the way. Oh and feel free to ask what the heck is going on because Marco hasn't explained it yet.]

[espio]

[...wait what]

Now what?

[fierybluebird]

We're going to make sure the kitchens never ever serve this.

[espio]

Y'know, I really don't think that's a concern, but if you have to make sure...

Wait, what are you planning?

[fierybluebird]

I'm just going to talk to them.

[espio]

With a blanket and a chameleon on your head?

[fierybluebird]

Yes. Why not?

[espio]

It's not good for being taken seriously.

[fierybluebird]

Oh. I'll make them take me seriously.

[Seriously Espio? Do you really think anyone would refuse Marco after he just had a mild nervous breakdown about balut, no matter what he comes in looking like? Hell, at this rate the chameleon and blanket are the only thing keeping him stable already.]

[espio]

[this face. This face forever.]

...okay...

[fierybluebird]

Oi oi. What's with that tone? I will.

[espio]

Just resigning myself to the fact that everyone I'm remotely friendly with is certifiably insane, and preparing to intervene with any outright stupidity.

I honestly don't think balut was ever on Balamb Garden's menu.

[Resists the urge to say something about "who wants all those crunchy bones and duck eyeballs in their eggs" because um. Yeah. Ick.]

[fierybluebird]

Oh, carry on then.

I'm going to make sure it never is. Or anywhere else in the world either.

[Yeah, don't do that Espio. See how intense he is about this already?]

[espio]

As long as you just use words - I feel bad for the kitchen staff! They never did anything wrong.

And anyway... [Suddenly decides to whap Marco on the head. Yes again.] Don't you have anything to say to me?

[fierybluebird]

No. You should be just as equally disturbed by half-formed egg-babies as I am. What if it was iguanas instead of ducks, eh?

[espio]

It is disturbing. In a way that tells me other people find it disturbing, too! So I don't think you need to worry so much about them being served here.

But the way my world is, there's a strong distinction between sapient animals and non-sapient animals, otherwise I wouldn't eat anything. Friends of that species, you know? Same for a lot of people. It would be like saying I can't eat bugs because I'm friends with Charmy, or that the Family will murder me in my sleep for revenge.

[ooc: the Family being an STC-O only organised crime thingy, made up of bugs.]

Aaand I'm not an egg-laying species. Just saying. People always assume I am.

[Sigh...]

And that's not what I meant, anyway. You didn't notice I can walk around without the medical staff shrieking at me again?

[fierybluebird]

Oh...

Oh.

Damn.

[Picks Espio up off of his shoulders and gives him a hug. SMOOSH!] Sorry matey. I guess I got a little worked up. [HUG HUG HUG. You will get sick of him long before he ever gets sick of you.]

And I didn't assume you lay eggs. Just that females of your species do. [:| Obviously better?]

[espio]

[Arghleblargleletgoandstuff. Espio's reponse to the hugging is to try and squirm out of it.]

No, they don't! Most chameleons do, but not my subspecies.

[fierybluebird]

[Puts him back up.]

Good to know. I'm not sure if phoenixes do. Probably. I'm more convinced they do than don't anyway.

[espio]

Don't ask me, I don't have a clue.

[Leans on Marco's head.]

[fierybluebird]

So ah...

Chameleons don't lay eggs...

[Which brings up different implications what with you dating his son now that he's just so fully aware that it doesn't have to necessarily be as cute and cuddly and asexual as he was first thinking. Still. He trusts Espio, and if anything, Toby would instigate it... OTL.]

Is everyone in the special Zone like that?