[BBS] ICK.

[espio]

[Espio is... bored. He was training in his much weaker human form during Galbadia's attack, trying to better familiarise himself with fighting with it, and took nasty injuries to his shoulder and leg that wouldn't have been anywhere near as bad if he'd been in his usual, durable chameleon form at the time. Add the limitations of para-magic and complications arising from the magical fun of shapeshifting, and lizard boy has pretty much been out of action for a couple of weeks.

A couple of weeks of lots of reading. Fiction and cookbooks and recapping on Indirect Para-Magic and all sorts. It led to a few discoveries, the best of which was black forest hot chocolate - basically the world's best cake in hot drink form. And... less delicious things Espio has no intention of eating any time soon. Or, you know, ever.

He's back on his feet, but still needs to take it easy, much to his continued frustration. Here, BBS, have a taste of Espio's reading materials.]

Okay, you lot seem to think eating bugs is disgusting and gross and whatever, despite the fact everyone's from different worlds and cultures. Can't believe how multi-universal the "bugs are icky" train of thought is. But you know, there's worse things out there than bugs - worlds are full of very different countries and cultures and stuff.

So, here's another one of those good old "tell us about your world" BBS posts. Natives included.

Subject: Disgusting foods.



1. Natto. Basically a bunch of rotted beans. They look rotten, they smell rotten, and they're covered in a sticky and stringy mess because they're just that rotten. I mean, fermentation always sounds nasty, but in this case the end product itself is foul.

2. Maggot cheese. I think it has an actual name. Yeah, I'm fine with eating bugs, but there's something about maggots that even I find gross. So try cheese infested with live maggots (deliberately put there, I'll add), which have been eating and digesting said cheese, basically decomposing it. Oh, and you eat it while the maggots are still alive, and chances are high they'll still be alive when they come out again. AND the maggots can jump about six inches or so. Delicious.

3. Balut. It's a fertilised egg. There is a half-developed baby bird inside that thing when it gets boiled. I don't think any more needs to be said on why that is disturbing.

Comments

[espio]

It is disturbing. In a way that tells me other people find it disturbing, too! So I don't think you need to worry so much about them being served here.

But the way my world is, there's a strong distinction between sapient animals and non-sapient animals, otherwise I wouldn't eat anything. Friends of that species, you know? Same for a lot of people. It would be like saying I can't eat bugs because I'm friends with Charmy, or that the Family will murder me in my sleep for revenge.

[ooc: the Family being an STC-O only organised crime thingy, made up of bugs.]

Aaand I'm not an egg-laying species. Just saying. People always assume I am.

[Sigh...]

And that's not what I meant, anyway. You didn't notice I can walk around without the medical staff shrieking at me again?

[fierybluebird]

Oh...

Oh.

Damn.

[Picks Espio up off of his shoulders and gives him a hug. SMOOSH!] Sorry matey. I guess I got a little worked up. [HUG HUG HUG. You will get sick of him long before he ever gets sick of you.]

And I didn't assume you lay eggs. Just that females of your species do. [:| Obviously better?]

[espio]

[Arghleblargleletgoandstuff. Espio's reponse to the hugging is to try and squirm out of it.]

No, they don't! Most chameleons do, but not my subspecies.

[fierybluebird]

[Puts him back up.]

Good to know. I'm not sure if phoenixes do. Probably. I'm more convinced they do than don't anyway.

[espio]

Don't ask me, I don't have a clue.

[Leans on Marco's head.]

[fierybluebird]

So ah...

Chameleons don't lay eggs...

[Which brings up different implications what with you dating his son now that he's just so fully aware that it doesn't have to necessarily be as cute and cuddly and asexual as he was first thinking. Still. He trusts Espio, and if anything, Toby would instigate it... OTL.]

Is everyone in the special Zone like that?

[espio]

Like what?

[Headtilt, and a confused pause.]

Plenty of species have eggs. Even a couple of mammals. Mine happens to be one that has live births instead - unusual for reptiles, but not unheard of.

[fierybluebird]

I see. So everything's just mixed up, eh?

[Carefully neutral toned and deadpan.] What age does your species generally mature at?

[espio]

It makes total sense! Platypuses and echidnas are just weird, and I'm not entirely sure if it's true echidnas lay eggs - there's kind of only a couple left.

[He has to think about the next one. It's a really weird question to have thrown at you.]

Aaand... everyone kind of just matures at the same sort of rate. About the same as humans, I guess. You're kind of considered an adult at sixteen - it's the age of consent, you can learn to drive, get married, join the army, things like that - but legally you're a full adult at eighteen. Which is also when you can drink alcohol and vote.

[fierybluebird]

You can get married before you can drink? [Tilts his head. That's just weird.]

[espio]

You can also sign up to the army and go get yourself killed on a battlefield somewhere before you can drink, which makes even less sense.

[fierybluebird]

Maybe they didn't want to legally empower those options for drunk people?

[espio]

They'll still be getting married when they can drink, so drunk idiots don't really lose out! It's the sixteen year olds who're losing out.

[fierybluebird]

Wait, how old did you say you are again?

[espio]

Nineteen. So sixteen wasn't all that long ago!

[fierybluebird]

And Toby's back to...?

[espio]

Sixteen.

[fierybluebird]

Look, it goes without saying you won't corrupt him too much, right?

Have you talked to him about the whole him being younger thing?

[espio]

Younger than he used to be, you mean? I've mentioned it, but...

... [what.]

Right.

[Espio can't help but wonder, why is that even in question? Surely Marco knows Toby calls the shots. And why do both Grell and Marco use the term corrupt?]

Why has this come up again?

[fierybluebird]

[Marco does know Toby calls the shots, he just wants to make sure it stays that way.]

Babies.

[Just the one word, but that's his reason why. Balut are babies and so is his son.]

[espio]

[See, moment of absolute stupidity.]

We can't have any.

[fierybluebird]

[Facepalms.]

You're both male. But your species doesn't lay eggs, so I'm sure you can figure out some of my concern.

[espio]

Kind of, but I'm not really connecting it with babies and eggs.

[fierybluebird]

Sex, Espio. That's my concern. Grell's too, no doubt.

[Back to walking to the kitchens... do do do...]

[espio]

...Marco, do I need to give you a reptile sex-ed lesson? Namely that egg-laying or not, reptiles generally still have sex?