[ action ] The Quad

[easilytriggered.livejournal.com]

[In some slightly off-the-beaten-path part of the quad today, there is a giant pie, and by giant, you could say that several grown men could fit inside of it comfortably--it is, however, oozing apple filling and not... blood or something else onto the grass, so perhaps that's a comforting thought. On top of said pie, there's a rather odd assortment of other baked goods: muffins, strudals, loaves of bread, cookies...

It's a surprisingly expansive list! The odd thing about the pile, however, is how nothing appears to be of the normal size; everything is either too big or too small. There are doughnut holes larger than your head, and yet, at the same time, there are cinnamon rolls you could fit on a fingernail.

Well, at least they taste good? If you're brave enough to try one at least.

Oh, right, there's also a guy seated a few feet behind the giant pile of baked goods, leaning against the base of a tree. He appears to be surveying the stack with mild interest as he munches on a cookie the size of a hubcap.]

Comments

[dumpsterdives.livejournal.com]

[ There's a happy balance between 'wallflower' and 'total pervert', Zephyr! YOU MUST FIND BALANCE IN THE FORCE, YOUNG PADAWAN ]

Yeah yeah, you get it, whatever. [ She takes another bite of cookie, weighing him with her eyes. ] Are there...not a lot of girls on Basel?

[easilytriggered.livejournal.com]

Nah, there's plenty of girls, but most of 'em aren't worth looking at.

[That answer seems to slip past Zephyr's mouth before he has a chance to process it, since he looks a little surprised by this confession.]

[dumpsterdives.livejournal.com]

[ Outwardly, Kiden has no immediate reaction. Inwardly, she's wincing. Zephyr was pretty cute, she'd been kind of hoping...but oh well, serves her right for being dumb.

She efficiently shelves the feeling and tilts her head at him. Her expression is vaguely mischievous, like when she was asking about him being ticklish, earlier. ]

Most of 'em? So you got somebody...?

[easilytriggered.livejournal.com]

[Now it's Zephyr's turn to give Kiden the "Are you stupid?" look. He rolls his eyes.]

Does it look like I have a girlfriend? After all that... stuff you were sayin'? Girl cooties and all?

[Oh, sure, he's got a girl he likes at home, but is he ever going to confess? Nope!]

[dumpsterdives.livejournal.com]

[ Okay, now she's just confused. ]

So...what? Girls on Basel ugly or something?

[easilytriggered.livejournal.com]

[Her confusion is making him confused now. What's so hard to understand!?]

I'm just sayin' that most of the girls on Basel aren't that pretty, but there are exceptions.

[Most of them may be porn stars though.]

What's it matter to you anyway?

[dumpsterdives.livejournal.com]

It doesn't. You brought it up.

[ Or they double up, like Barbarella-- Kiden shrugs, taking another bite of cookie. ]

[easilytriggered.livejournal.com]

Hey, you asked about the girls on Basel.

[He shrugs and takes a bite out of his own cookie.]

[dumpsterdives.livejournal.com]

[ There's a stretch of silence as they chew, Kiden ruminating. Finally: ]

These cookies aren't like, made from your dead skin cells or something, are they?

[ so how about them less awkward but still awkward topics of conversation??? ]

[easilytriggered.livejournal.com]

What? No! Of course not! What sorta shitty idea is that?

[True facts: Zephyr actually has no idea, but he's just going to go with no because any other answer would be too disgusting.]

[dumpsterdives.livejournal.com]

Well, where the fuck do they come from, then? Are you psychically stealing from bakeries or something?

[easilytriggered.livejournal.com]

Does it matter where I get them from? They probably come from some... alternate baking dimension.

[dumpsterdives.livejournal.com]

[ A snort of amusement. ]

'Alternate baking dimension'? Sign me up. I'd eat this shit all day, dead skin cells can bite me.

[easilytriggered.livejournal.com]

[Zephyr rolls his eyes, but he's grinning. Still, he materializes a small roll and tosses it at her head.]

Yeah, like you'd ever say no to free food.

[dumpsterdives.livejournal.com]

[ Catches it deftly. It is going to her mouth. ]

You know me too well. I don't say no to free anything.

[ nom. ]

[easilytriggered.livejournal.com]

So now you're going to be mooching off of me forever?

[dumpsterdives.livejournal.com]

Fuck yeah, or at least until the whole Muffin Man schtick goes away. If it goes away.

[easilytriggered.livejournal.com]

Just FYI--I haven't figured out how to make fat-free stuff, so don't blame me if you end up gaining weight or somethin' 'cause you keep eating them.

[dumpsterdives.livejournal.com]

Zephyr. Zephyr. Look at me.

[ Motions re: skinny-ass everything. ]

Now guess how many fucks I give about carbs and shit.

[ SPOILER: NOT A WHOLE BUNCH. ]

[easilytriggered.livejournal.com]

[Zephyr looks at Kiden. Okay, point taken.]

I'm just sayin'. Some girls worry about that stuff.

[dumpsterdives.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well, I'm not one of 'those girls'.

[ Kiden's tone makes it amply clear how she feels about those girls. ]

[easilytriggered.livejournal.com]

[He rolls his eyes again.]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. I got it. Sorry for lumping you in with them. Damn. You want me to make it up to you or somethin'?

[dumpsterdives.livejournal.com]

[ As a matter of fact!

Kiden takes the rest of the roll Zephyr gave her, and crams it into her mouth. Chipmunk cheeks! Sexy.

She then cups her hand in front of her as if to say 'more, please!' ]

[easilytriggered.livejournal.com]

[Zephyr cracks up.]

Nice face you're making. You want anything in particular? Or should I just go with the grab bag selection?

[dumpsterdives.livejournal.com]

[ She just chews for a moment.

Chew, chew, chew, progressively realizing this is getting her nowhere at the speed of light...

Realizing she can't talk around the massive glutinous mass in her mouth...

Fuuuucckkk...

Kiden settles on showing him two fingers (option #2) and a thumbs up. BRING ON THE APOCALOAF. ]