witchesreign | BBS/Action (current day)

Probably.

Why are you acting so old about it?

[Nudges!] You still find young love four times a week! That's why we made you fourth division commander. Baka.

I am old. [He reaches up and scratches Marco's cheek at the nudge] And those carousing days are behind me.

[because it's much more of a pain in the neck when the girl you've let down gently is just in the next town over and you'll be there for as long as she will.

And...damn does he miss his boys. All of his little brothers. As easily lead into battle as they were lead astray]

Do we still have the best hair?

Pops still carouses and hits on nurses all the time, don't kid yourself.

[Nudges and rests his head on Thatch's. Like a random beak and phoenix eyes sticking out in that mass of hair.]

You're just a committophobe about anyone other than the crew. And even the crew.

[Flails his birdie feet a little and then whistles in a sing-song kind of way.]

Aye. Always. If you consider that a good hairdo. I prefer a nice fruity look, thank you very much.

My heart belongs to three people and only three people. [well he loves all his nakama, truly. But a heart is somewhat more intimate than that] It used to be just two, but some asshole stole it.

[He lightly pets a tail feather that is trailing down his shoulder and then holds up another bit of orange so Marco will only have to open his beak to get it]

I know you prefer fruit, babe. [which explained Grell. Who was like a lemon if it had gone through hell first supposedly.]

Freckles is a sneaky bastard like that.

[Om nom nom. And please, Grell is nothing less than a dragon fruit explosion.]

[Have some very happy tail swishing.]

Hey. If you could live almost forever, but you'd be cursed, would you do it?

[pet pet]

Would I get to go home?

[cursed or not. Doomed or not. None of that mattered if he could fight by their side. By Pops' side.]

[He switches back to human and sits with Thatch back to back.]

That's the curse. You could, but only to see people die.

Give it to Pops then, too. And Sparks. And all of us.

[who needed death? Yeah everything died. Whatever. But no one really needed it. Why when they could all stay together? Be together as they were meant to?]

I can't. And they wouldn't take it. Just you.

Like being a ghost. You could watch over everyone and protect them, but eventually they'll choose when they die, and you won't get to join them.

Or you can be human. When you die, they'll join you, but you won't get to see the living or do anything about it.

[Lucky bastards that get a choice. He wants to say. But doesn't.]

You know...someone told me once that D's made their own fate.

[and he'd wished, at that time, he was one. That he could be a D and change the course of just his life so that he could have just one person he cared for. Well that had worked without and maybe--maybe no one could really change fate. Not even Roger could escape his own disease. Not even Pops could... And Ace... He rests his head back against Marco's]

So let me try. I want to do neither and to go home just as I am now, live how I want and die how I choose.

[Marco would have laughed (bitterly) and actually appreciated that. Because he does envy them a lot of times.]

[And Marco sighs. Does Thatch know about his own death, or doesn't he? Does he know but turn a blind eye? So difficult.]

And how would that be? [Locks his arms with Thatch's to hold him close.] I thought I envied Ds, and people strong enough to choose when and how they died. Like Roger and that whole execution stand speech. [And leaving behind Rayleigh to mourn him, rather than being like Rayleigh and himself, and left mourning.] But if I had to choose how to die... [Protecting his loved ones. That's easy. That's how, that's why, he envies the way Whitebeard and Ace died.] Isn't that why I'm stuck living?

Sometimes I want to kill someone and die with them. And I think, "Wouldn't this protect my family from them?" But Pops always orders me back. We have more than just that one enemy, after all. So I must live to fight everyone.

But it's harder like this. Living, always fighting that pain. Like if Roger kept living through the illness always getting worse another twenty years, eh?

C'est la vie, mon ami. C'est la vie.

C'est la vie, indeed. [life and death, all mixed up in time. He closes his eyes]]

If I could choose how to die [where it mattered] it would be after-- it would be seeing-- helping-- [but he can't even say it. Ace become Pirate King. That was a lie, though, wasn't it? The ultimate dream of nothing. How strange that he could handle Pops dying and Marco living but the utter unfairness of someone he'd believed in so much--]

--trading my life for one who could do so much more with it than I could comprehend. One who could change the world.

[but in the end-- in the end it hadn't happened that way]

[Marco just gives up at that point and starts crying.]

I hate him.

He got to do exactly that.

Lucky bastard.

[He wipes it away in a sleeve though and leans his head against Thatch's without explaining who he meant.] You know, Pops is always telling me that too. That I have to live to keep the future guarded. I feel like I'm in that endless twilight sometimes. Seeing so many eras on the precipice of turning. It's fucking confusing, you know that? [LEANS ON. And ruffles Thatch's hair a little.] Would you choose to live for that? I wouldn't. I really wouldn't. Yet here I am, doing just that anyway, eh. So messed up.

[he doesn't want to ask. He doesn't want to think about it too much. What it means. Just--the world going on and him sitting here hearing things second hand that he had no business to know]

I don't care about eras. One era or another doesn't make a difference to me. [but he's not as long lived. He's old but not wise and can't always see the change like Marco can. The pattern of the years]

Maybe we're more alike than we thought, eh? Living too long. Trying to think about things and accept things that are impossible to think and accept. I don't want to be a ghost, sweetheart, but if I could, I'd be a phoenix with you.

[Pats Thatch's head.] I appreciate that, te adoro.

What about shinigami though? In some ways worse than a ghost, but more like a phoenix, yoi. Don't take it lightly though, eh? It's a very hard thing my Kitten does.

[And while Thatch mentioned it once, Marco wanted to plant the seeds of the idea again and make 100% absolutely certain Thatch understood what it meant and wanted it before he ever brought it up to Grell.]

What, like a grim reaper? I'll think about it. [but seeing so much death and no life...watching it all pass away without him] I'll get cold, though. Will you still love me even if I'm stone?

[Grins broadly and gloms on to Thatch like half of a magnet.]

Always.

No you wouldn't. [because he knows the truth of that at least anyway. He pulls one of Marco's arms around him] Or you would, but it would be the memory of me you'd prefer. The one that can keep you warm, aye? Stone only takes warmth.

[Punches softly.]

No, you're an idiot.

I don't want time to stop. You. Here. A few years older even though I wasn't there to witness them all? That's what I want. [Grins.] That's what I've always wanted.

I don't want you to be a statue. I want you to be you. [Uses both hands to knuckle either side of Thatch's face.] If you chose to live forever just for me, I'd cry and have to kick your ass. But I'll always love you, the more you change, the more you grow, the more I love you.

And I love that.

I don't want to live in endless twilight. But I love the twilight for breaking up the days from nights. [Nods and wraps his arms around Thatch's shoulders in a hug and leans his head on Thatch's.] You're still an idiot.

[hell if he knows what he wants. ....Well, no. He knows what he wants but it's nothing he can get. Right now he's just stuck here. And if he were a shinigami, he'd still be stuck, but longer.

He doesn't know what to say to Marco. What decision to make. Or even if he really can. The baby birds are chirping away from their tree and he glances at them]

Think they want the last orange?

Always. But if you're going to eat it, eat it. It's not good to spoil them too much, eh.

[Rests his chin on Thatch's head.]

Hey Thatch?

Thanks.

[he's lost his appetite for now so he caps the box for later, finding comfort in Marco resting on him. He lets out a soft laughing breath at the gratitude]

It's nothing. Just doing what I can. [he nudged Marco's chin with his head] Sing me a song, pretty bird.

[Sings this.]

Where will you be?
Break through heal me
Sing to me, kneel beside my bed
My weary head in your embrace.

Wake up sunrise,
I may be alone but I'm alive,
And I will find a way to you.

Sunrise, save me this time
You never even had to try
You opened up my eyes.

You know, this was a song sang for you when I was alone here. [Flicks his tail.] I really missed you.

[Don't sing him that kind of song and say it's about him, damn mooshy phoenix. What is he supposed to do with it except choke back the swell of entirely manly sentiment that's become lodged in his throat.]

Well I'm here now. [a little tail tug] So sing happier songs, aye?

[and in the meantime, he'd make sure that, in the least, Marco wasn't lonely]

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