one ❖ the investigation | action

[extraordinarily]

[ Today, boys and girls - ladies and gentlemen, there's a new student on campus. Of course, she's still wearing her usual North High uniform (and not the regular uniform) and is walking around like a wrestler trying to find someone to fight.

Of course, she's walking around aimlessly, not even bothering to get used to her surroundings. But if she notices someone, she'll immediately make a beeline towards you with a very enthusiastic look on her face, asking (well, unless you're Mikuru, which instead she'll attempt to sneak from behind to grope you as a way of greeting!): ]

What are you, a slider? Esper? Alien? Maybe even a time traveler?! [ Yes, Haruhi is way too excited about this.

Especially since anything supernatural-related piques her interest. ]

Comments

[extraordinarily]

Maybe in your world you're not, but in mine it is! [A beat.] It's too bad I don't have the DVD, though.

[bunnypassingby]

[Mikuru purses her lips, not really wanting to see the movie anyway, and folds her arms across her chest to protect herself from further groping attempts.]

... W-what's your name? [So she can keep track of this random stranger who thinks she's written a movie about her...]

[extraordinarily]

[ Haruhi grins, her hands on her hips confidently. ]

Suzumiya Haruhi, SOS Brigade chief and the ultra director The Adventures of Asahina Mikuru: Episode 00!

[bunnypassingby]

[That is the worst movie name!] SOS Brigade...?

[extraordinarily]

[ -- there was supposed to be a "of the" after the word "director" but that's just the mun failing.

And Haruhi nods before continuing. ]

That's right, the SOS Brigade! It's only the best brigade in all of Japan - no, the world - actually, maybe in the whole entire universe! Or would that be universes? It doesn't matter. It stands for...

[ She takes a deep breath before saying all of this in one breath: ]

Spreading Excitement all Over the World with Suzumiya Haruhi Brigade!

[bunnypassingby]

What do you...do?

[extraordinarily]

Isn’t that obvious? [ Haruhi shakes her head, but whatever. She’ll explain it. ] We find time travelers, espers, sliders, aliens and play with them!

[bunnypassingby]

[THAT'S NOT OBVIOUS AT ALL.]

You shouldn't play with aliens; they're evil!

[extraordinarily]

Oh, yeah... Yuki was the bad alien, huh. [ A beat. ] But not all aliens are evil, though! I'm sure of it!

[bunnypassingby]

You should still be careful with them.

[extraordinarily]

Don't worry, don't worry. I'm always careful! [Or so she thinks, at least.]

[bunnypassingby]

Right...

Um, do you need any help with settling in? [Because being a welcome wagon is easier for Mikuru than dealing with crazy.]

[extraordinarily]

[There's a pause, albeit minuscule, to that question.] Ah, sure.

[bunnypassingby]

Anything in particular?

[extraordinarily]

Not really! Just don't bore me, alright? [There's an emphasis on that last word, as if she really is expecting something amazing, fantastic.]

[bunnypassingby]

[Mikuru hesitates, because settling in is inherently boring unless you're flipping out about another world and being lost and all that, which Haruhi clearly isn't. And what on earth would interest someone who's chasing time travelers, espers, and aliens?

[After a moment of staring out the nearest window to the sky, Mikuru takes Haruhi's course catalogue from her welcome packet, flips through with familiarity, and circles Intro to Para-Magic & Guardian Forces, and Intro to Attack, Recovery and Indirect Magic.]

The new quarter starts soon so you'll have to sign up for classes, and two of the magic classes are compulsory.

[extraordinarily]

Magic, huh...

[She looks slightly bored for a second, staring out the window before redoubling her smile.]

Sounds interesting!

[bunnypassingby]

If you want, I could...give you a demonstration, or my notes from those classes.

[extraordinarily]

A demonstation sounds more interesting.

[Haruhi nods enthusiastically.]

So let's just go with that.

[bunnypassingby]

[Mikuru sighs. This is the dumbest idea she's had since randomly hopping back in time on a letter's say-so.]

We'll go to the training center, but I have to get changed and get my weapons first; there are live monsters there. [And she starts walking to the dorms. Gonna follow her, Haruhi?]

[extraordinarily]

That's fine.

[Haruhi nods nonchalantly before deciding to follow her mascot from a parallel world.]

[bunnypassingby]

So... Are you and the Mikuru from your world...

['Together', she can't quite bring herself to say. It's the only explanation she can come up with for why Haruhi's default greeting for her would be groping.]