[action - library]

[nevergetscredit]

[In the library Merlin was staring at one of the computers. He'd wanted to look at the books (they'd said that he couldn't go home, but Merlin wasn't sure if he believed him. In any case, he had to try and find a way back to Camelot, and maybe something in them would help him understand this bizarre place), but when he'd asked the keeper of the library they'd told him that the catalogue was in one of these strange magic boxes. They had to be magic, because one side of each box glowed.

Merlin had no idea how he was supposed to get this catalogue out of the magic box though. Did it need a spell? But they'd said that people didn't like 'unnatural powers' here, and Merlin wasn't going to use magic when he didn't know what would happen if he did.

Gingerly, he poked at the glowing thing. Nothing happened.]

Open?

[he poked it again]

...Please?

Comments

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Crack it open and you will! Why are you trying to do that anyway?

[nevergetscredit]

They said the catalogue was in them! How else am supposed to get it if I can't open the box?

[finding a book was never this difficult in Camelot]

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

{Champloo makes a mental note to have a word with the faculty about this new electronic distribution of course catalogs. (He will have several. They will all be food metaphors. No one will quite understand.)]

The catalog is contained within like the citrus taste of lemon chicken! Cutting the chicken with a knife is not enough to bring its taste to your tongue! You must carry the meat to your mouth with chopsticks instead.

[Champloo leaps forward, turning a forward flip to land dramatically next to the console, then stabs out one hand to turn the thing on.]

[nevergetscredit]

[Merlin definitely doesn't understand]

Do you even know how to talk about anything else other than food?

[when Champloo suddenly starts jumping around all over the place, he quickly moves out of the way, staring] What did that do?

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Hyahya! Cooking is life! Cooking is heart! Cooking is life, kid! And as for the console, it is now on!

[He gestures broadly to the display screen.]

[nevergetscredit]

...Right. So all those times when we're not cooking we're just pretending to be alive, are we? [sorry Champloo, Merlin isn't buying it.

he gives the computer a dubious look. Unfortunately, he's working on a slighting different meaning of the word 'on' than Champloo is]

But it hasn't moved. And it was already on the table.

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Think of it like a book! The information you seek is inside, but you cannot crack it like a walnut to get at the meat! You must tell it in a way that it understands to give you what you want.

[See, sometimes he CAN be comprehensible!]

[nevergetscredit]

[For once, Merlin actually understood what he was saying. And who'd have thought that the man was able to talk about books as well as food? Merlin leans forward, not wanting to let go of this brief moment of comprehensibility]

So what does it understand?

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

They have entire classes for that. Perhaps if you tell me what you're looking for, I can help you find it, and you will perhaps learn something from that!

After all, the greatest omelet starts with the smallest crack in an eggshell.

[nevergetscredit]

I just want to find some books that will explain this place! I don't see why the keeper of the library couldn't have just told me where they are. That would have been a lot simpler than trying to find 'the catalogue'.

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Ah! The catalogue! That would be the standard book distributed to all new students from other worlds.

Well! Welcome to Balamb Garden. Did you receive your letter from the Headmaster?

[nevergetscredit]

That will tell me where to find the the books I want? [Merlin sends Champloo a confused look. He'd gotten the course catalogue, but he hadn't really been able to make that much sense of it yet.] Why did they tell me that it was in the boxes then?

[Merlin gives a half-hearts smile] Thanks? And yes, I did get a letter. But I'd much rather be back home. [a worried frown] Everyone will be wondering where I've gone.

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Books? You are not looking for the class catalog?

[Champloo is starting to catch on!]

[nevergetscredit]

[Merlin gives Champloo that 'I think you are possibly completely mad' look again]

No, I'm definitely looking for books. They are what you usually come to a library to look for.

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Oh, well. That information is also in the computer! It is in fact easier to find! Simply access the Library menu!

[nevergetscredit]

[Merlin pauses, and gives Champloo a slightly befuddled look]...What's the Library menu?

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Think of the console like a menu at a fine restaurant! You tell the waiter what you wish to have, and he will bring it to you! Except instead of telling him you're pushing a button instead.

[nevergetscredit]

[Merlin's eyebrows furrowed a little at the word 'resturaunt' - what was that? - but with Champloo talking about someone called a 'waiter' bringing something, he was able to at least make a decent guess]

So basically it's just like being a noble and telling servants what to do? [Merlin looks at the computer with sympathy. He knows your pain, fellow servant.]

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Except the 'servants' in this case are no more intelligent then your chopsticks! It is a machine.

[nevergetscredit]

[giving Champloo a slightly suspicious look]

Are you saying you servants aren't intelligent? Because a lot of us a lot smarter than a lot of nobles, you know. [Merlin's sorry, fellow computer-servant. He's sure you're not nearly as stupid as Champloo thinks you are]

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

I'm saying it's more like a lever you pull than a person you ask. There is no mind or soul in a computer. It was created by people.

[nevergetscredit]

...Right. [Merlin still resolves to be nice to the computer anyway. Just in case.]

So what exactly do I need to do again?

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Now that the computer is on, you must make your selection on the menu! [His waiter analogy was not THAT off, after all, now was it?] In this case, you must tap the button that says "Library".

[nevergetscredit]

This one? Merlin reaches up to poke at where the word 'menu' appears on the screen with his finger. He frowns when nothing happens]

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

To clarify, there is a device to one side which controls a pointer on the screen. By using that device, you may move the pointer. Then, the button on it will cause you to activate that over which the pointer is held!

[Tech support is way out of Champloo's normal area of expertise, but he'll give it a game effort anyway]