[Action] Home Ec, you poor bastards...

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

[Whether on Monday or Tuesday, the Home Ec classrooms are shut and locked. A note instructs students to go to the new basement classrooms.]

[Of course, students aren't normally allowed in the basement, but hey, the note's pretty clear.]

[Taking the elevator down and following the signs leads to an ominous sense of heat before it leads to the door. Opening that door makes it worse, as waves of heat and an absolutely delicious scent of thick stew pour out of a two-story tall pot dominating a kitchen that appears to have come from hell itself.]

[Rows of desks line up before a chalkboard. As the bell rings, the classroom... still has no teacher. The students are welcome to look around, talk amongst themselves, and wonder what's going on for all of a minute -- WHEN SUDDENLY--]

KiiiiiiiYAH!

[A sun shines brilliantly in the heavens (even though they're indoors), silhouetting the figure of the Home Ec. teacher as he descends from above! With a crash, Mr. Champloo lands in the middle of the floor, then rises and points at the class.]

Kitchen Fist Fire Chaos Style! I, your Home Economics teacher, appear by the name of... Champloo!

[At once, every stove burner in the room bursts into flame.]

You all have embraced the path of cooking! And some other things covered in this class that are much less important. I warn you, the path of cooking is not for the faint of heart! You must have strength! You must have passion! You must be prepared to risk your life in the pursuit of the perfect dish! From this day forward you are students of the High Heat style of cooking!

Comments

[hellomgann.livejournal.com]

[M'gann... is quite amazed at the sudden spectacle that has taken place in the form of the new instructor's entrance as well as the stoves suddenly bursting into flames. Her eyes are wide, mouth agape as she simply sits in her seat and takes in the instructor's speech, the sheer passion behind his words making her feel quite inspired. Once he's done, she begins to clap for Instructor Champloo, before she glances around to see that she's the only one who is doing so-- and so promptly stops, looking sheepish.]

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Hyahyahya! Your heart burns strongly! You will find that to be the best spice for any dish.

[hellomgann.livejournal.com]

But I thought heart burn was bad? [Sorry, she's taking a bit literally.]

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

A heart which burns in flame is nothing compared to a heart which burns with passion!

[ossutamente.livejournal.com]

[In the middle row, there's a student with his head resting on his hand, looking up at the front of the room with only the vaguest interest. In fact, he only looks up at about the time the teacher introduces himself. Miharu is clearly not very impressed.]

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Before you can prepare ingredients, you must first master your tools! To the side, you will each find a knife, and a suitable assortment of ingredients. Take your places!

[ossutamente.livejournal.com]

[He glances over at the knife and ingredients, but doesn't move.]

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

[Champloo shakes his head sadly.]

It seems your heart is cold and soggy, like a melon left on the bottom shelf too long. It is not too late! Take that melon from the fridge before it rots!

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[...Japan's just startled. What sort of way of teaching is this... What is this flashy-- GOD DID THEY ALL JUST TURN ON...

He's going to be sitting here with the most horrified look on his face.]

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

[Don't worry, they turn off after a moment!]

Your heart must not hunger only for food! To cook is not just to make a meal. To cook is to live! To cook is to change the very universe itself!

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

Ah... Champloo-sensei... While I can understand this sort of passion, this method seems a bit...

[adoressakura.livejournal.com]

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Your first test is to understand the heart of ingredients. To begin your process -- Toooyah!

[He hurls potatoes! Which come perfectly to a stop on the desks of all the students before him.]

-- your first task is to peel these potatoes with your fingers alone!

[adoressakura.livejournal.com]

Excuse me but.. how exactly can you peel potatoes with fingers alone? Are you talking about using our nails?

[supbroski.livejournal.com]

[ Path of cooking....

Well yes, Jade is fully prepared to risk her life. She has multiple lives. Well, not really, but it's easy enough to go back in time so she doesn't die.

YES. SHE'S READY.

And staring. ]

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Now then, on to the first lesson: boiling water!

[Didn't seem exciting? Just you wait.]

[supbroski.livejournal.com]

[ Bored. She leans on her hands and starts to fall asleep behind her shades. ]

[alwaysanarcher.livejournal.com]

[So much for learning sewing for the rest of the Quarter. Cissie stares at him - more out of shock than anything - then at the stoves and then back at him.]

.... Guess it's my lucky day, huh?

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Cooking is not about luck! Passion! Energy! A cult of tasty blends! Through cooking you shall achieve strength, discipline, and harmony!

[alwaysanarcher.livejournal.com]

[She misses the old NPC teacher already. F+, here she comes...] If you say so, Instructor.

[eggplantallergy]

[The heat is far too much for all this hair he has. And whoa...that's a huge pot! Gakupo looks around nervously, not liking this atmosphere one bit. It's fiery, hot, and this instructor is crazy.]

I'd rather not risk my life for food.

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

A life unrisked is a life wasted! If your corn has no salt, do you simply eat it without, when a salt shaker sits right before you?

[eggplantallergy]

I don't even like corn that much. And I like my corn sweet.

[tortileghostwriter]

[...What.

...What.

...okay he's got to admit that ridiculousness aside that was pretty cool. Okay he won't admit it to anyone but himself.]

Then let's begin, shall we?

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Today's lesson is: the Hundred Mockmen Meat Tenderizer!

[Dramatically, he leaps backwards, then whips a sheet down from the wall to reveal just what he said -- one hundred wooden training dummies, each bearing an oversize meat tenderizer. On their reveal, they begin to move, swiping at the air in front of them to form one long gauntlet.]

Take these two steaks! [He holds up a pair of large, round cuts.] You may use only them to block the blows. By the time you reach the end, they should be perfectly tender!