[Action] Home Ec, you poor bastards...

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

[Whether on Monday or Tuesday, the Home Ec classrooms are shut and locked. A note instructs students to go to the new basement classrooms.]

[Of course, students aren't normally allowed in the basement, but hey, the note's pretty clear.]

[Taking the elevator down and following the signs leads to an ominous sense of heat before it leads to the door. Opening that door makes it worse, as waves of heat and an absolutely delicious scent of thick stew pour out of a two-story tall pot dominating a kitchen that appears to have come from hell itself.]

[Rows of desks line up before a chalkboard. As the bell rings, the classroom... still has no teacher. The students are welcome to look around, talk amongst themselves, and wonder what's going on for all of a minute -- WHEN SUDDENLY--]

KiiiiiiiYAH!

[A sun shines brilliantly in the heavens (even though they're indoors), silhouetting the figure of the Home Ec. teacher as he descends from above! With a crash, Mr. Champloo lands in the middle of the floor, then rises and points at the class.]

Kitchen Fist Fire Chaos Style! I, your Home Economics teacher, appear by the name of... Champloo!

[At once, every stove burner in the room bursts into flame.]

You all have embraced the path of cooking! And some other things covered in this class that are much less important. I warn you, the path of cooking is not for the faint of heart! You must have strength! You must have passion! You must be prepared to risk your life in the pursuit of the perfect dish! From this day forward you are students of the High Heat style of cooking!

Comments

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

To start, you must climb the wall to the upper level! {He indicates that wall with a jerk of his thumb. A cargo net provides an adequate hand and footholds...] While carrying four eggs!

[alwaysanarcher.livejournal.com]

[completely deadpan:] Four eggs? While not make it five while we're at it?

[Still, she takes four eggs and starts to climb that wall. It doesn't daunt her in the least! She just... thinks it's ridiculous.]

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

An egg wishes to become a bird, soaring through the air! In cooking it, you take from it that dream. Therefore, to know its heart, you must live its dream for it!

[Why four eggs? It makes it that much harder to climb. And a little bit more awkward to move around things like the spike that just erupted from the wall, half an inch from her cheek.]

Of course, learning to fly is not without its dangers!

[alwaysanarcher.livejournal.com]

What the heck?! [She jumps, leaning back to avoid that spike before shooting a glare at him.] Are you trying to kill us here?

[Suddenly, heading back down sounds like a fascinating idea.... even if she's currently scrambling up that wall faster than ever. The sooner she finishes this, the better!]

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Now you understand the true passion of an egg! But do not just let it slip by you! Feel it! Embrace it! Touch the heart of the ingredient!

[alwaysanarcher.livejournal.com]

[Is their new teacher a hippie?! Cissie shoots him dagger glares the rest of the climb, even if she makes it to the top in record time and flips back down.]

Become one with the egg? ["What have you been smoking lately?!"] If you say so.

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Surely you now appreciate the difficulty an egg must undergo?

[alwaysanarcher.livejournal.com]

["Not particularly."] I.... guess. Kind of.

So can I cook it now?

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Can you?

[He looks at her intently. What kind of horrible trap is this question?!]

[alwaysanarcher.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah... but only if you give me permission to.

[kitchenfistfirechaosstyle]

Very well. Let's see what you've learned from all this.