Balamb Newsletter, Volume 3, Issue 2

[wrnpcs]

[What's this in the GFC section of the BBS and the racks in the cafeteria? Why, it's the newsletter!

[The print edition is slightly different from the online edition, as it is full of ads from local Balamb businesses, as well as some mail order services from further afield. It is also in columns. The online edition has more photos.]

Balamb Garden Mercenary Academy
Study hard. Work hard. Play hard.
Trimester 1, 2013 · Monday March 18th · Volume 3, Issue 2

Brought to you by the Garden Festival Committee

For news queries, story suggestions, or story feedback, please contact a GFC member.

Limited time only compression

by Tarquin Limacher, Cadet #68438

For the last two weeks, Balamb Garden has played host to a number of temporary visitors pulled to our world by time compression. Unlike our off-world staff and students, these people only remained on our world for a few hours at a time before being compressed out again.

This was the second time this phenomenon has been observed. One year ago, time compression pulled people for such short stays for three weeks.

After processing cadet enrolments for some early visitors only for the new cadets to disappear within hours, admissions staff repeated their tactic from last year and began waiting to see if off-worlders remained for a number of days before offering enrolment and employment. As a result, only two new off-worlder cadets have been enrolled in the last two weeks.

As well as delaying standard admission procedures, the temporary visitors disrupted classes, with two particularly notable cases.

A WTR 101 class was taken over by a visitor when Instructor Ngaro had to step out for a meeting. Mr. Dante gave a demonstration of advanced combination sword and dual pistol use which, while impressive, was inappropriate for an introductory level class.

TAIL 101, meanwhile, was interrupted by a unicorn some recognized as an old campus tailor, Rarity, who insisted on customizing several cadets' uniforms. Rarity was part of a sudden upswing in ponies which some cadets found distracting.

The quad played host to an impromptu sword fight between two unknown men with very large swords. Witnesses say that a blonde man attacked a tall silver-haired man without warning. No Disciplinary Committee members were on the scene, and both men were compressed out before a SeeD arrived.

Cafeteria staff complained of a shirtless man taking too much food, with one worker (who wishes to remain anonymous) remarking, "He got even more food than Instructor Inverse, and he took all the hotdogs! It just isn't fair to the paying and sponsored students!"

Though Instructor Champloo was on hand to provide more food as necessary, this one visitor was still responsible for more than the usual amount of dishes for one meal.

One off-world visitor was seen pelting snowballs at a cadet. It is still unknown where the snow came from, as the snow melted some months ago and witnesses say it did not resemble Blizzard para-magic.

Most of the school has taken these troubles in stride, with SeeD Grell Sutcliff saying, "I don't see what all the fuss is about! Such an influx has been dealt with before, and not always with a great response, be it verbally or with action. I think certain individuals just want something to complain about! If anyone should complain about this, then complain about the cause of this Time Compression! We've all taken the history course before! Don't play ignorant now!"

Not all of the temporary visitors were disruptive. Some were curiosities even among our growing non-human population, such as a talking cat and a purple man with an accent resembling Old Trabian. Even some previous inhabitants of Garden were spotted, such as former ENG (Engineering) instructor Billy Cranston and cadets Damian Razem and Danny Masters.

"It was great to see a good friend again," said ESL 097 Instuctor Mikuru Asahina. "Even if just for a little while."

At the time this issue of the Newsletter goes to print (Sunday morning), it has been hours since the last visitor sighting. Time alone will tell if the influx is over or if it will continue for a little while longer.

FH founder dies

by Helena Oster, Cadet #67749

Armin Dobe, 76, one of the founders of Fishermans Horizon, died Friday.

He was born to the late Melor and Senta Dobe in the city of Esthar. Dobe received a Bachelor of Science from the Esthar Institute of Technology aged 21. He married Florence Sartre at age 22 and they lived together in Esthar for five years before moving and founding what became known as Fishermans Horizon.

Initially a government scientist in energy research with a focus on solar energy, Dobe mounted a campaign to dissuade the Estharian government from what developed into the First Sorceress War. When this failed, he, his wife, and a group of like-minded Estharians left the country and founded the strictly pacifist town of Fishermans Horizon on the railway. Dobe was mayor of FH until he voluntarily stepped down nine years ago to spend more time with his grandchildren; he was succeeded by Rada Neumann.

He developed the solar energy dish which provides FH's main source of electricity to this day, and enjoyed music and gardening. He was also a skilled Triple Triad player.

Dobe is survived by three children: Kilian and Urs Dobe, and Varya Jarosz, of Fishermans Horizon. He is also survived by seven grandchildren.

New dorm manager - room inspections imminent

by Scarlett Machado, Cadet #32759

Balamb Garden's previous dormitory manager, Roysten Gledhill, has accepted employment elsewhere. His replacement is Verity Campbell. She will be implementing mandatory bimonthly room inspections starting next week.

Room inspections will take place during night free time and quiet time (2100-2300). All boarders at Garden will be required to open the door to Campbell and the janitorial staff; they are authorized to unlock the door and come in if they are not admitted. Common areas (including the kitchenette), bedrooms, and SeeD ensuites will all be examined. The full checklist and standards can now be found stickied on the BBS. (OOC: We're not putting one up, but assume it's very nitpicky, eg. Microwaves must be cleaned, beds must be made, floors must be vaccuumed...)

If a dorm is found unsatisfactory, all inhabitants of a room will be docked 20 gil from their next cadet allowance payment or SeeD/employee paycheck to pay for a professional cleaner. Cadets will also be reported to their resident adviser. Excellent dorms will be rewarded with a box of cupcakes.

Campbell also wishes to clarify her role. As dorm manager, she is responsible for maintenance requests, dorm assignments, and dorm safety. Resident advisers may report any problems with the cadets in their care to her.

Kushal's Kitchen

by Kushal Goeller, Cadet #56048

Welcome to Kushal's Kitchen, the recipe column for people who think they can't cook! Because even people who haven't taken HEC 101 get sick of cafeteria food sometimes.

As we move into the second half of the trimester, give yourself an energy boost for your studies with some potato wedges!

This recipe is gluten free and vegetarian.

Ingredients:

1 tsp vegetable oil

Pinch each of dried basil, marjoram, oregano, rosemary, and thyme

1/4 tsp paprika

1/8 tsp salt

1 unpeeled medium baking potato

1 tsp grated cheese

Combine the vegetable oil, herbs, paprika, and salt. Cut potato lengthwise into eight wedges and coat them in the seasoning mixture. Place wedges on a microwave safe plate, cover, and cook on high for 4-6 minutes or until tender, turning them once. Sprinkle with the cheese. Easy!

CAMPUS ADVERTISING

Disciplinary Committee

Time: Tuesdays 1730-1830

Are you a Cadet who's a stickler for rules? Concerned with the state of behavior around Garden? Want to do something about it? Join the Disciplinary Committee and help oversee Cadet conduct. Please contact Paley Turia for the meeting location. This organization is exclusive to Cadets. Membership is nulled upon graduation or dropping out.

Garden Festival Committee

Time: Fridays, 1800 - varies
Place: (one of the classrooms)

The GFC seeks new members! As well as writing and publishing this newsletter, we run a variety of events and celebrations for the people of Garden, including Valentines gift deliveries, school dances, and cultural festivals. Currently we are fundraising for a recreation room, and we also fundraise for charity. We are well respected in the Balamb community and collaborate with a number of Balamb Town businesses and charities. GFC membership is a fine complement to an International Business specialization, but if you aren't into numbers and organization, we also always need creative types and manual labor. For membership enquiries, please contact Russell Drake or Zainah Coppell.

(OOC: For both DiscComm and the GFC, sign up on the organization page. DiscComm characters may immediately begin doling out detentions; GFC characters are welcome to suggest school events and may be asked to post announcements.)

St. James Arms

Place: (room number on the second floor by the WTR classrooms)

St. James Arms now has a permanent workshop and office by the WTR classrooms. This on-campus arms dealer and weaponsmith sells new equipment and items and offers upgrades, repairs, and maintenance to all Garden cadets, staff, and SeeD at discounted prices. Gunblade specialization and custom work are available via private message or in person.