witchesreign | [Action] / Training time!

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[Action] / Training time!

[There's an interesting fixture in the Training Center today -- a scrawny little black-haired boy who's practicing his skills on the monsters around.

The "skills," however, are certainly nothing from Garden: the monsters that come near him end up being deleted -- yes, deleted -- when they come in contact with his left hand. Said hand looks nothing like flesh and blood anymore; it's become a hand-shaped "cloud" of 1s, 0s, glitching... something or other and flickering pieces just as hard to identify, resembling more like what you'd expect from a corrupted computer program.

He doesn't really seem to care much that this is certainly an agonizing way to go about things, if what the monsters are screeching is any indication, but then again, they are just monsters.

He's taking a break at present, sitting down and resting his hand on his knee -- it seems that his own body and everything on it is immune to the... whatever it is.]

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Toby...

[For the last several days, Toby's just been really off with him. Espio knew he was upset, and he'd tried to wave his odd, out-of-character behaviour and total non-reaction to his apology as being just because of that, but he just couldn't shake the notion that something else was wrong.

And Toby killing monsters? Yeah. That wasn't right.

He waits until he stops to rest before he goes anywhere near him, noting that even during his break he kept that bracelet off.]

What is the matter with you? What happened to not wanting to try it on monsters?

[It's worry and concern, not anger or frustration.]

...They're just monsters. It doesn't matter.

[Something is very definitely wrong, here, Espio. If nothing else, that should've tipped you off, or the fact that he just waved at you dismissively with that corrupted hand.]

I need to practice anyway. And people kill them all the time, right?

It mattered to you.

[Just gonna step back just a little. Dismissive Toby with that hand is kind of creeping him out (to say nothing of the glow to his eyes or the overall creepy - is this just Espio imagining things because he's not been sleeping properly?)]

Why should what everyone else thinks matter?

[He simply shrugs.]

It doesn't. But this is the easiest way to figure it out, right? You and Marco and Grell are always fighting, too.

[No, no, no, wrong. Toby, wtf are you doing, where did your usual self go?]

That doesn't mean you have to! Not if it means turning your back on yourself!

[He shrugs again.]

...This is what I went to. It hurts too much to actually care about anything.

[... that first bit makes no sense. The second?]

You're blaming me?

[Come on, Toby! Espio knows full well he fucked up and he really meant his apology, but seriously, you know what he's like! How many times has this happened before?!]

[Enough, it seems. Tobias nods at the question.]

Yeah. I am.

[Ow. Espio can't help but wince.

But...]

I screwed up, I know! But I apologised... I'd've done it quicker if you hadn't run off, because I was being stupid and I knew it from the instant I opened my mouth!

[Hell, he knew it before, and only said anything because Toby pressed the issue - it's that easily provoked thing he has going. But mentioning that isn't going to help when all he wants is Toby back.

And it was a proper, heartfelt, near-tears apology, too, after days of a hiding Toby. Not just a generic sorry.]

But you know what? Screwed up memory or not, you should know me well enough to know how to deal with me! Which is not by running away like the coward you once-upon-a-time stopped being and hiding under... whatever it is you even call it when you turn into someone else!

Once-upon-a-time isn't now, Espio. Things have changed and you know it. When I came back here, I remembered all of you, sure. But I was back to how I was when I came here for the first time that I ever did.

There's a reason I'm a coward again. I've lost years from what you seem to think I once was, so I lost everything that was there. You knew that -- or you should have. Just coming back here doesn't mean I regained everything. Only you, Marco, and Grell, are things I remember, really. Most everything else is gone.

Yeah, I remember how you are. I remember how to deal with you. But that doesn't mean I can, because even if I was still me, I wasn't the same person that you saw a year ago.

And whatever I call it... well, I call it just shifting. You think this -- [Tobias gestures with his corrupted hand again.] -- is the only thing about me that's corrupted?

It's not. It's just the most visible one.

Edited 2012-08-24 19:08 (UTC)

Well, shift back!

You can deal with it! I know you changed. Everyone changes, Toby, and I was still trying to get to grips with it! We didn't have enough time to work things out, but that doesn't mean it was impossible! Maybe you need to relearn how to deal with things, but that doesn't mean you can't.

And anyway, do you really think making the people around you suffer is a good way to handle anything? The people you know full well care about you?

It's a good thing Marco isn't here!

No, I don't think so.

Maybe I can. Maybe I would. But the thing is, no, I don't want to change back.

Do you have any idea how this feels? To not care about hiding this thing? To be able to use it freely without worrying every single step of the way about what someone thinks? Or to worry if this is the time I kill someone again? Or to worry if someone ends up taking this to the headmaster and I get tossed out, or worse?

I like this. I like not having to care or worry. You told me not to care about what people think...

...so why should I care what you or Marco think, either?

[...sorry, Toby. But while it takes him longer to get there than certain people he knows, do you know what Espio does when he really really doesn't know how to deal with something?

He punches it.]

Snap out of it!

I might have said that, but if there's one thing you should care about, it's yourself! Neither Toby ever wanted to be a monster! Caring about people is what makes you a person!

[...oh, fuck.

UM. THIS WAS NOT WHAT HE INTENDED TO DO.]

[The punch makes Tobias reel and cry out. Both his hands snap to the eye in pain.]

[He gingerly steadies himself, moving his hands aside. His eye is already in pain, immensely so, even if there's no noticeable marking.]

You...

[The voice is very much Tobias', shaky and upset and full of broken trust.]

You hit me...

[And then it's gone. There's an almost physical feel in the air as Tobias mentally withdraws, the "other self" surging back to the front.]

That hurt.

Edited 2012-08-24 19:52 (UTC)

[Speaking of shaky voices...]

I-it was an impulse. I didn't mean to - I...

I just...

[You know how when Espio's usually upset, he just looks angry? NOT THIS TIME.]

I just want Toby back!

You were going off about caring about people and what makes you a person after you punched me in the eye, you know.

This hurts really badly, by the way. I probably won't be able to see in a few hours.

So the question is, that considered, do you think you deserve to have him back? After all, you just hit him when he wouldn't say what you wanted to hear.

Edited 2012-08-24 19:59 (UTC)

[Espio wants to run away. He can't deal with this. But... there was a glimpse of the Tobias he knows, and now... he can't help but feel he needs saving.]

A black eye will go away. Emotional pain? That lasts a lot longer - tearing my best friend away over a trivial argument in a moment of idiocy? That more than outweighs a black eye.

And anyway, that wasn't even Toby talking.

Toby isn't a monster. Toby doesn't want to be a monster. Never has. Never will. You, however...

I'm still Tobias, you realize. Though I suppose you're at least half right.

[He stretches a little, twirling the bracelet around his normal finger.]

I am Tobias, whether you want to believe it or not. That's not something that's really easily changed and you can't blame this on something as easy as a "second personality," or a "possession," or whatever you want to say to make yourself feel better.

I am fairly... different, however. You could say I'm the Tobias you knew if you stripped away the empathy and emotions. I still remember everything, I just see it from a more objective position.

If you have to treat me like a second personality, I guess you could called me... "Jacred."

So basically, you're the monster within, the side nobody wants to admit is there. Got it. We all got one somewhere, just not necessarily as literal.

I don't care. Put those emotions and empathy back where you found them and put Toby right.

Yes, that's a good way of putting it.

[A pause, as if he's actually thinking about that.]

No.

Why not?

[Grr...

And beating it out of him isn't going to help. One punch got a reaction, but he can't help but think it won't work a second time.

...maybe a restraint?]

Because I don't have control of this. Tobias does.

Well something seems to be stopping anything I say getting through.

[Like a shield?]

Of everything I can think of, this is one of the most painful things he could do - it's like watching someone die, them turning into something they hate, all because of something stupid I said and didn't even mean.

I know I screwed up, again, but not even being able to say I'm sorry, or that I love him? That's plain cruel.

[He's not handling this very well at all. It's one thing to face someone like Mighty or Sonic when they've gone weird, but Toby was another thing entirely. He can't hit him - that one reactive punch made him feel guilty enough - and words aren't working... hugs didn't work either, when he tried it.

What can he do?

Other than stand here and try not to cry. ...and failing at it.]

It is, but I'm not the one who forced myself to retreat to this the first place. That was all you, Espio.

It's a simple thing most people do. When the world becomes too much for them to handle, they pull in on themselves, become introverted. And unfortunately, the shock of his mixed memories as well as you "turning" on him was enough for me to stop wanting to deal with it.

It's certainly a cowardly move, but... you know me.

I know Toby enough to know he can pull himself back out of it.

[You're not Toby. Don't even pretend. You're the monster that Toby's afraid he is.

Espio stomps over. Still in tears. Grabs Jacred by the collar.]

You know why I snapped? Because for one moment it felt that anyone's company would do as long as they could protect him. For one moment, it made me feel like I was the same as everyone else in the Garden - nothing but shelter.

I know it was stupid and wrong - even at the time I knew. Toby thinks more of me than that. That's why I tried to hide it and not say anything! But I can't hide what I think so easily.

I waited over a year hoping for Toby to come back. Every second I missed him. I have a family here, but nobody means as much to me as he does, even with his memories so mixed up.

Now he's gone again. But I'll bring him back. Even if it takes years.

[Jacred doesn't seem to even be phased at being dragged down to Espio's level, though the glow is even more intense now that they're close together.

...After a moment, however, Tobias throws his arms around Espio, apparently forgetting the hand still exposed. Thankfully, he's gripping his own arm rather than Espio's body, so there's no real deletion going on.

...There's something wet against Espio's shoulder. Tobias is crying.]

[Espio goes stiff - for a moment, he thinks he's being attacked - he's about to shove Toby off before he realises that, well, he isn't being attacked.

Cautiously...]

Um...?

...What did I say?

[It's Tobias' voice, without a doubt.]

I feel... like I said something bad...

[TOBY!!]

Can't remember.

[BLATANT LIES. Especially going by the fact that he's now shaking. It's the combination of relief, stress, distress, rage, tears and the lack of sleep.]

But don't freak out on me like that again... please. Just hit me if I'm being stupid... okay?

...I don't want to hurt you. I... was just scared... that you really didn't... want to be with me anymore.

[Still crying, yep yep.]

I... I don't know what happened... but did I do something bad?

To me? Yes. But it doesn't matter.

...but um...

You might kind of get a bruise. On your face. And your eye's probably gonna swell up. You'll want to put ice on it... wrapped in cloth. For fifteen minutes during each hour for the rest of the day.

...I'm sorry...

[Legit upset now. He can't remember it, but hey, it hurts still.]

...What happened?

You... weren't you.

[CLINGS.]

You said that you didn't care if you hurt me or Marco or Grell, didn't care if you were chased out of Garden, that it didn't matter if you killed someone. I... couldn't stand it. Couldn't let you be something you hate. Maybe there's a part of you that wishes you didn't care, but that's not who you are.

[If you couldn't tell Espio was crying properly before, Toby, you probably can now.]

So. Um. I hit you. I didn't mean to - it was like I lost all sense of myself and did the first thing I could think of.

[Okay, that gets Tobias crying even more. He lets go of Espio and puts his hands over his eyes. Yeah, that... that might have been something you should've kept under wraps for a while.]

...Why are you crying? You didn't do anything... I did...

[...So much bawling.]

Because of me.

Like I said - next time, just hit me. I'll forgive you.

[He makes as if to hug Toby again, try and reassure him that it was okay now... but um. Problem. Several problems. Green ones.]

We should probably get out of the Training Centre.

...Huh...?

[Oh hey. That... is not good.]

...Uh... I... don't know where my bracelet went...

...

[Facepalm.]

Can't have gone far. You had it a moment ago. Sort of...

[Playing with it.]

Anyway, I'll deal with the Grats. You find that bracelet.

[And just to help, Espio casts haste on him.]

Okay!

[And he's off like a rocket to find it -- thankfully, it just sort of slipped off his finger and isn't hard to find.

Snap! The creepy aura and glowing eyes are gone now.]

I got it, Espio!

[Flings one Grat across the Training Centre by the tentacles, before glancing back to Toby. Back to normal... he can't help but smile, if somewhat awkwardly, and reaches out to grab him by the wrist.]

Let's get out of here, then. Back to my room...?

I don't want people seeing me like this.

Sure, I'll follow you.

[And there's that old smile, the situation already put out of his mind.]

[Following isn't going to really work. Espio does not want to be seen in the shaky, tearful state he's in, so the obvious solution is to turn himself invisible.

He keeps Toby close, though - he doesn't let go of his wrist.]

[Well, that works too.

Time to see if he can remember where to find Espio's room...]

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[Action] / Training time!

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Done!

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