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[When she made her contract with the world to offer her service as a Servant in exchange for a chance to grant her wish, Saber had been prepared to be summoned across time for the purpose of fighting in a war. But his 'summoning' wasn't even a summoning at all, but some terrible accident. Moreover, she was no longer a warrior, but a student? She had stared hard at the letter as she walked through her new surroundings, her expressionless face giving away nothing of her complete confusion. It all made sense... yet it didn't make any sense at all.

Dismissing her battle-armour and Excalibur, she remained in her blue dress, not willing to chance finding out whether or not her more modern attire had somehow come with her. She might have stood out, but at the very least she had no special need to hide that her presence was unnatural.

She paused occasionally to scrutinise her new surroundings through an experienced knight's eyes. It seemed peaceful enough... at least, on the surface. But for all she knew of this alien place, that could change.]

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[Merlin is still just staring at you blankly, wondering how exactly he ended up having this conversation]

No, he's not young. [pause] He's old. Really old. And sorry, you're Uther's daughter? [another pause, because Merlin keeps needing to stop to process all of this insanity] He has another one?

Edited 2012-02-24 03:55 (UTC)

[Now it's her brain's turn to break]

Another? No, I am Uther's sole heir... and he passed away when I was fifteen. I had no other siblings that I am aware of, save my half-sister by our mother.

You can't be, Arthur's Uther's only heir. And Morgana... [Merlin trails off. There's really no way to explain Morgana - and Merlin's still hasn't quite fully processed the fact that Morgana is Merlin's sister either.

And that mention of a sister through her mother makes no sense at all] Who is your mother?

Igraine, Duchess of Cornwall.

[Still reeling from brainbreak]

But... you helped him to win her as his bride, I was told... how could he be old?

Your mother was Ygraine?! [But that can't be right, Ygraine was only even able to have Arthur with Nimueh's magic, she couldn't have had another child.

...and then he was back to staring at her blankly. Helping Uther win her as a bride?!]

What?!

[Her brain can usually adapt quickly -- it has to -- but even she has a limit to what she can process. And right now, these were not the sort of reactions that should make sense. She never knew her father, but she did know of him, and he was certainly younger than the ancient, possibly immortal wizard. How could he be younger than her father, yet know of both her parents?]

You... how could you... ?

Who are you really? What game are you playing? [because none of this makes sense, she has to be up to something]

[That snapped her out of her brainbreak a bit]

I could ask you the same question.

I don't even know who you are, but you seem to think you know me.

[And the poker face returns, but she's careful now, as if sizing up another Servant.]

I do know a wizard named Merlin. However, it seems unlikely that you and he are one and the same... though what this is indicative of, I am uncertain.

[It seems like an unlikely trap, and it was hardly unheard of for some Servants to be able to disguise themselves. But what purpose would it serve? Moreover, she would have been able to sense his presence had he been a Servant. An Assassin, maybe? Either way, she decided to test the waters. Perhaps there was some truce that could be reached.]

There does not appear to be a Holy Grail War here.

[Merlin blanches at that - the wizard Merlin. He couldn't afford to be known as a wizard.

Merlin was beginning to think that he was going to need to start going by a different name. For noe though, he replies quickly] I'm not a wizard.

...No, there's no war here. but what does that have to do with anything?

[Hms softly, still confused but running through possibilities]

If that is the case, you could not be the Merlin I know, even with these coincidences...

[She stops, involuntarily raising a hand to her head, and the slightly confused expression manages to break through the mask again.]

However, the Holy Grail is not familiar to you?

You must be mistaken. [Merlin sounds firm on that - even though he knows he is really a wizard, what she says about Uther and Ygraine is enough for him to come to the conclusion that she couldn't really know him at all.

He looks at her, wary.]

No. What is the Holy Grail?

Perhaps...

[She's back to being on her guard... she was still new to the place, and there was no one she knew or could trust. It should be impossible to summon a Servant for anything other than Heaven's Feel, yet here she was. She had no Master, yet she had no disappeared. And now someone claiming to be her advisor and tutor was here?]

A sacred artefact capable of granting any wish. A War between Masters and Servants is fought every so often to determine who is worthy of it.

[She'd answered automatically, almost distractedly]

[Merlin is looking at you rather dubiously now] A war between masters and servants?

Seems rather ridiculous, don't you think? I mean Arthur might be a prat but I'm not really going to go to war against him. Not to mention that I don't think many servants would have a chance against their masters.

[Now she's the one staring in disbelief at him. The explanation about the War will have to wait for the moment.]

... Arthur?

[Merlin pauses. Considering how suspicious this woman is, he's not sure how much to say about Arthur. Not to mention the fact that Arthur doesn't people to know about him being a King]

He's my master.

But.... that is impossible... I...

[It took a bit longer for her to recover this time, but then it occurred to her: it would hardly be the first time he played a prank on her. At least now she remained... female]

If you are indeed the Merlin I knew, this had best not be another one of your tricks. The previous time you did something for your amusement, it had unfortunate repercussions for all... the people especially.

[She folded her arms, frowning in kingly disapproval.]

What tricks? I don't even know you!

[And in a weird and somewhat eerie way, that kingly disapproval almost reminded him of Arthur. Almost. Because obviously, this woman had nothing to do with Arthur at all]

And I don't see how me being Arthur's servant could be any kind of trick.

[Her haughtier side managed to make it past her mask]

Do you remember what trouble it had caused the kingdom when you enchanted me and turned me into a man?

[But even then, her face turned serious]

It is I who am a Servant now. It would not be possible for me to summon you as my Servant.

I never turned anyone into a man! [That's it, this woman must be mad]

And what does you being a servant have to do with anything? I don't work for you! You can't summon me! [and sometimes not even Arthur can summon Merlin]

[She can't help but glare a little. The old fox didn't follow the path of chivalry, so he didn't always tell the truth. But if was going to keep playing this game, she might was well indulge him. Besides, he might be 'testing' her, as annoying as the prospect was. She suppressed a sigh and rattled off the 'lessons'.]

Naturally, I am incapable of summoning you... you are still human. Had you been a Servant, I would have been able to sense your approach, with the exception of the Assassin class, which is capable of concealing his presence. A Servant is a Heroic Spirit summoned by a magus chosen by the Holy Grail as a Master, who then orders his Servant to fight on his behalf with the other six Servants until only one Master and Servant remain.

[She held up her right hand, the back facing out]

Masters are recognised by the three seals they bear on the backs of their right hands, used to issue an order which a Servant cannot disobey. When all three are depleted, the Master loses his connection to his Servant and that Servant disappears and returns to the Throne of Heroes.

[Her expression is expectant, as if to say, "Well, did I pass"?]

What? I'm not...I am not a heroic spirit! I'm a servant, a norma human servant! You know, I clean things and wash Arthur's socks, and have to carry his things or whatever menial task it is that he demands I do. There is no fighting, or summoning, or anything else of...whatever it is that you apparently think I do.

[If the question was 'did you pass the exam to be a crazy person', then the answer is yes]

[It took more effort to suppress her aggravated sigh this time around, but she did close her eyes and fold her arms.]

It is as I have said. You are not a Heroic Spirit; otherwise,I would have been able to sense your presence. I cannot sense the presence of Masters in the same way, even though Servants, as beings of pure magical energy, are capable of sensing the flow of it. And when a Servant is depleted entirely of magical energy, that Servant disappears.

[That talk of the chores was just bizarre, though. What was he going on about? And why was he still referring to her as a 'he'?]

I never did such things, and you would have cast a sneezing cantrip on me for a fortnight had I ever ordered you to do such things.

[She planted her hand on her hip, slightly annoyed that he was still playing games with her. Really, this was going too far.]

it's like a brain breaking conga line

And here we go!

/gets out a broom to clean up all of these shattered brains

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And now the cycle of brain-breaking is complete

it's like the circle of life. except not.

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